Ted Cruz Prepares to Embarrass Self, Nation, As POTUS Candidate

I endorse this message. Whatever it is.

If this is not a graphic on at least half of all Democratic messaging, then they’ll know they hired the wrong strategist.

Ted Cruz is a bigger buffoon candidate than even Sarah Palin. His idiocy can’t  be blamed on a lack of education or world exposure; on the contrary, he was double-ivy, Harvard and Princeton educated. Not that that matters to Tea Party, of course. They’re the party with the base folk who don’t put stock in such ivory, elitist towers.

But somehow, Cruz remained impervious to the temptations of liberal, and in many cases, logical, thought, percolating at these venerated institutions. There is not a single, educated person who denies the human impact on and disastrous effects of climate change who is not  A FUCKING MORON. Somehow, Senator Cruz, with more US News & World Report kiss-assed bona fides than most people in the world, is a fucking moron. He is just not convinced about the whole climate change thing due to the fact that it still snows sometimes. Here he was last week giving us the benefit of his moron wisdom and explaining all about the falsity of “global warming” (relevance – used loosely – begins at 3:20 on the video:

Not sure what “data” Cruz is looking at for his “satellite” imagery of the earth not getting any warmer over the last 17 years. Definitely not this here graph showing the data collected by 4 different international scientific institutions, and https://www.youtube.com/embed/m0UJ_Sc0Udk” target=”_blank”>the consensus formed by NASA and 97% of all scientists in the world.

“Temperature data from four international science institutions. All show rapid warming in the past few decades and that the last decade has been the warmest on record.” – http://climate.nasa.gov/scientific-consensus/

Whatever great intellectual talent Cruz may have had has simply not shown itself in any of his dealings as a US Senator. From his harmful and pointless symbolic gesture of the government shutdown, [1] to his total lack of empathy or even pragmatism in his staunch opposition to any kind of pathway short of deportation and criminal proceedings for undocumented immigrants as well as his particularly idiotic and aggressive opposition to marriage equality and all of the familial protections thereof for same-sex couples and their children, Cruz’s Tea Party membership (or perhaps leadership) apparently included a clean sweep of all intellectual talent to purify his neo-neo-conservative soul.

When we are not choking on the vomit of the substance of the Cruz ideology, we are triple-taking and feeling awkward at what pathetic attempts at using rhetoric he employs in his grandstanding. Who could forget last year’s head-cocking, Scooby-sounding “ARF?” noise we all collectively made when Cruz clumsily waxed satirical (far, far above his ability to do so) by borrowing Cicero and actually accusing Obama of being “openly desirous to destroy the Constitution and this Republic” based on his executive orders providing a pathway toward legal residency for undocumented children.

A lot will be said about Cruz, and all the forthcoming candidates, over the next 20  months [2] before the 2016 presidential election. His views on many topics will be criticized for both substance and articulation, and his actions will be under heavy scrutiny. I am expecting really amusing things to happen, based on all we know so far, and perhaps, most especially, based on the giant, Texass-sized ego that is held back only by the plasticine nature of Cruz’s enormous head. Yes, I know, everyone who runs for any office needs some ego, and to run for president, you really need to have it large measure.

But. There is a difference that is best represented by an undoctored picture of Cruz, lounging in his self-decorated office.

Texass Senator Cruz sits without a sense of irony in front of the mural he commissioned for his office representing him arguing at the U.S. Supreme Court.

 Welcome to the 2016 presidential race, friends. 

[1] The only tangible results of this Shutdown circus, aside from stroking Cruz’s already-massive and turgid ego, was to deprive the nation of many critical services and thrust incredible hardship on individuals whose only or major source of income was their federal wages, which withholding also may have been illegal.

[2] Jesus christ this asshole is announcing early.

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A Cat Being Adorable is More Important Than Anything Else

Me ‘n’ 19 of my friends will demonstrate our importance at the link below.

 

We should really be thanking them for insisting we turn our attention to them instead of whatever boring and not-as-cute thing we are looking at instead of them.

My Cat Walks Into a Bar

Actual Harm vs. Hypothetical Harm – Secretary Clinton’s Emails

I can’t with this dress.

The focus of criticism in the entire scandal surrounding Hillary Clinton’s exclusive (and totally legal) use of personal email while she served as Secretary of State is, like most political scandals, centered around Hype. Here, it’s hyped up concerns of hypothetical breaches in security and/or loss of hypothetical emails that would be relevant to a hyped up investigation (Benghazi) that has failed to uncover anything remotely nefarious perpetrated by Clinton or the Administration.

But there is nary a peep from anyone about the ACTUAL law that is being, if not broken, then certainly not followed – the Freedom of Information Act. FOIA, and Sunshine Laws like it, are designed to allow the public (and particularly our Fourth Estate, our independent news media) unfettered access to the documented dealings of our taxpayer funded public servants – our government – unless there is a specific exemption that would preclude the disclosure of such information. Such exemptions (in other situations known as “privileges”, like the attorney-client privilege which exempts communications between counsel and client from disclosure) include if material is classified for security reasons, or violate legitimate proprietary concerns of non-governmental entities. And reviewing the documents can take time, especially considering how much documentation (includes email) is generated everyday.

BUT NOT FIVE FUCKING YEARS AND LONGER as it has taken the State Department to (still not) comply with requests submitted by the Associated Press (AP) for disclosure of Secretary Clinton’s email.

“A few months ago, the Treasury Department sent us 237 pages in its latest response to our requests regarding Iran trade sanctions. Nearly all 237 pages were completely blacked out, on the basis that they contained businesses’ trade secrets. When was our request? Nine years ago.

“It takes the State Department about 18 months to answer — or refuse to answer — anything other than a simple request. This week we filed a lawsuit against the department for failing to turn over files covering Hillary Rodham Clinton’s tenure as secretary of state, including one request we made five full years ago.”

This stonewalling and utter failure to promptly (or even in good faith) respond to FOIA requests is the most troubling issue raised by the whole Clinton email thing. Everything else consists of vague and hyperbolic concerns of things that have no basis other than in the bedroom fantasies of anti-Clinton operatives (which do not consist merely of GOP strategists).

Cookie Monster is the Only Life Coach I Would Ever Pay

If You’re Goin’ to San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear a Wire When Talking to Your Racist Police Sergeant)

The “post-racial”, liberal enclaves are terrifyingly safe places for dangerous bias to flourish unnoticed for long periods of time.

We Need More Bisexual Governors

Especially ones that push through “holy shit, yes, why weren’t we doing this THE WHOLE TIME” kind of legislation, as with Gov. Kate Brown of Oregon and her automatic voter registration legislation.

Shockingly, [1] Republicans unanimously voted against this measure, citing “privacy” concerns:

“A one-size-fits-all approach to voter registration does not work for our most vulnerable citizens that could be endangered if their personal information is suddenly made public,” Republican state Senator Kim Thatcher said in a statement.

I have taken the liberty of revising State Senator Thatcher’s statement to be believable:

“A [really freaking logical and easy solution] to voter registration [that allows our most vulnerable citizens to vote with minimal barriers] does not work for our most vulnerable [candidates] that [sic] could be endangered [with losing] if their personal [network] is suddenly [outvoted by the] public,” Republican state Senator Kim Thatcher said in a statement.

[1] Nobody is shocked.

An 8-Year-Old Who Drops Wisdom Like a Mic

This kid has it down:

“I just really think I’m really both,” says Tomás. “I really don’t care what people call me. Sometimes I say I’m a girl. Sometimes I say I’m a boy. Sometimes I say, does it really matter?”